dear blog,
I forgot about you, but im back.
So it's 11:00 and i still dont feel like getting out of bed, my feet are sore and blistered. After hiking almost 20 miles they are cursing at me. Hanging out and camping with eric was a lot of fun. He and I hadnt really spent and time just relaxing in a while. And 2 days worth of driving and hiking in the silence of the national forest gave ample time to have our usual discussion of life.
Having a few days off of work has made me have very mixed feelings. I enjoy not having to drive to rayville but at the same time I want to get back to work so i can keep learning how the center works and learning more about my clients. I feel like God has really blessed me with this new job, especially after the crappy last one.
Having started the new job it has made me wonder a lot about the future and where i am going. I thought for the longest time i would never want my LPC and that i would just look for a doctoral program straight away after finishing my general and school master's. But now I am starting to wonder if i would like to stay around the center and get my LPC and see where that could take me. I think its just the comfort of Ruston that makes me not want to get away. Yes, i know, very paradoxical that the very thing I've said i wanted to get away from for a while is the very thing that keeps me here. All that being said, I've decided that over the break I must make a decision about pursuing my school masters degree. Some days I want it some days I dont. We'll see what happens.
She is gone home for a while. I miss her already. I think its the littlest things that make me care about her so much. I happened acorss a photo album of us last night that made me smile. Hopefully I will get to go visit soon and meet the fam. Which, as you know, is a huuuugggggeeeee step for me. I guess I see it as a big step in the committment area. Which is an area that Ive struggled with my whole life. My expertise in the area of freaking out and running away are childish notions I am trying to escape. Maybe it just takes the right girl?
Im sorry its been a while and I will try to remember my poor sporadic blog more frequently.
-dustinshelbywhitlock
Monday, November 17, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
its been a while....
hello again,
Ive decided im ready to write about the alchemist.
yes i know there are other things to write about, vegas etc., but i am ready to write about the alchemist.
and this is it....
never tire of doing what you know in your heart is right.
whether people tell you its wrong, whether people ask you to justify your actions, whether your parents tell you that you shouldn't, whether you have to go to great lengths to do it....
never tire of doing what you know in your heart is right.
the boy never tired.... i hope i can say the same for myself...
I know that was probably anti climactic, and there are so many other things that I couldve brought from that book, but that is what i needed to hear right now....
dustin
Ive decided im ready to write about the alchemist.
yes i know there are other things to write about, vegas etc., but i am ready to write about the alchemist.
and this is it....
never tire of doing what you know in your heart is right.
whether people tell you its wrong, whether people ask you to justify your actions, whether your parents tell you that you shouldn't, whether you have to go to great lengths to do it....
never tire of doing what you know in your heart is right.
the boy never tired.... i hope i can say the same for myself...
I know that was probably anti climactic, and there are so many other things that I couldve brought from that book, but that is what i needed to hear right now....
dustin
Monday, August 18, 2008
im like willy nelson....
or at least a little bit, im soon to be on the road again.
this trip has been so much fun, it was exactly what i needed to recharge the batteries before school starts.
elpaso has been good. the rowell's have graciously opened their home to me and have been so fun to be around. i think sometimes i forget what a family unit looks like. its been really cool to be around them this week.
well i really didnt have alot to say. hopefully soon i will have the seattle and el paso pictures up on facebook so be sure to check for those.
i am still mulling the alchemist over in my head, ill get around to penning it when i get home, for now i have to go pack my life back into a little bag again.
see you in ruston....
-dustin
this trip has been so much fun, it was exactly what i needed to recharge the batteries before school starts.
elpaso has been good. the rowell's have graciously opened their home to me and have been so fun to be around. i think sometimes i forget what a family unit looks like. its been really cool to be around them this week.
well i really didnt have alot to say. hopefully soon i will have the seattle and el paso pictures up on facebook so be sure to check for those.
i am still mulling the alchemist over in my head, ill get around to penning it when i get home, for now i have to go pack my life back into a little bag again.
see you in ruston....
-dustin
Thursday, August 14, 2008
the city....
so i made it to seattle, it was good to see eric, we are currently residing at the green tortoise hostel outside of pike market. its pretty much the in the coolest location ever.
we have been cruising down to the market to wander through all of the fresh flower stands, fresh seafood stands, the bakeries and the fruit stands. the aroma of it all mixed together is intoxicating. it mixed with the hundreds of people down there was a neat sight yesterday, it smelled like life to me, yea, thats the only way to adequately explain it.
yesterday after hanging out and drinking coffee on alki beach and reading i decided seattle would be a nice place to reside. i could certainly get used to it.
so i am reading the alchemist right now. an to be honest it is really speaking to me. it talks a great deal about how the world is so interconnected and how each person must fulfill their own personal legend in their lives. it also talks about how each person is connected to the personal legends of others
and i began to look at the city yesterday and see how i was connected to the people around me. it was such a strange feeling to look at someone i didnt know and see them for the hand of the creator and to see that he had brought us to the same place at the same time and we would never meet again. eric and i began to talk about this and we noticed that we were in the background of some peoples pictures, we talked about how as long as those people owned those pictures we were connected to them. im still trying to sort out all of this in my head, so it probably sounds mushy.
its all very existential in manner and im having trouble wrapping my mind around it, but god is teaching me something cool, i can feel it coming, he just hasnt put all the puzzle pieces together yet.
anyway,
once we came into the city we checked in and eric and i began to cruise the city. we wandered for a while the found ourselves at the space needle. it was pretty cool and we decided to go into the experience music and sci fi museums. both were really cool. then we ordered a bit of pizza and sat in a park overlooking puget sound and ate and read. i finished the alchemist but i think i want to start it again...i know, im ridiculous.
after pizza me and eric went for a stroll on our phones :)
then, to bed i said, to bed.
-dshelbywhitlock
we have been cruising down to the market to wander through all of the fresh flower stands, fresh seafood stands, the bakeries and the fruit stands. the aroma of it all mixed together is intoxicating. it mixed with the hundreds of people down there was a neat sight yesterday, it smelled like life to me, yea, thats the only way to adequately explain it.
yesterday after hanging out and drinking coffee on alki beach and reading i decided seattle would be a nice place to reside. i could certainly get used to it.
so i am reading the alchemist right now. an to be honest it is really speaking to me. it talks a great deal about how the world is so interconnected and how each person must fulfill their own personal legend in their lives. it also talks about how each person is connected to the personal legends of others
and i began to look at the city yesterday and see how i was connected to the people around me. it was such a strange feeling to look at someone i didnt know and see them for the hand of the creator and to see that he had brought us to the same place at the same time and we would never meet again. eric and i began to talk about this and we noticed that we were in the background of some peoples pictures, we talked about how as long as those people owned those pictures we were connected to them. im still trying to sort out all of this in my head, so it probably sounds mushy.
its all very existential in manner and im having trouble wrapping my mind around it, but god is teaching me something cool, i can feel it coming, he just hasnt put all the puzzle pieces together yet.
anyway,
once we came into the city we checked in and eric and i began to cruise the city. we wandered for a while the found ourselves at the space needle. it was pretty cool and we decided to go into the experience music and sci fi museums. both were really cool. then we ordered a bit of pizza and sat in a park overlooking puget sound and ate and read. i finished the alchemist but i think i want to start it again...i know, im ridiculous.
after pizza me and eric went for a stroll on our phones :)
then, to bed i said, to bed.
-dshelbywhitlock
Friday, August 1, 2008
tired...
today was a crazy day, i dont enjoy being the mediator...
i feel like so much is going on....
but i cant really focus enough to write...
i said something today that i didnt mean to say....
but it ended up not being bad at all....
d.s. whitlock
i feel like so much is going on....
but i cant really focus enough to write...
i said something today that i didnt mean to say....
but it ended up not being bad at all....
d.s. whitlock
Thursday, July 24, 2008
ADVENTURE!
YEA!
so today i booked my flights to seattle. i am so super pumped about going. i think i am so excited because this is the adventure i have been craving all summer. going and doing things that i havent done and seeing places i havent seen before....im a little bit excited.
i talked to eric this morning, he was at 9,000 feet. he said that he and another rider were the first ones to the top and the view gave him chills. for the first time all summer i can say i was truely jealous of him. to hear the way he talked about the scenery and how it was so evidently made by the hands of our creator....yea way jealous.
but, i know that i am in ruston this summer for a reason. and i am enjoying it. i feel like the work that kyle and i are doing around the house is service for our roomates so that when they return they will be able to jump back into life in ruston. yesterday we powerwashed the house and cleaned out the garage. what will we work on next?
i am excited about the next few weeks, full of birthdays, flights, adventures, tests, sunsets and beaches, and friends coming home.
i was listening to this song this morning so i'll leave a bit of it.....
I like songs about drifters - books about the same.
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.
Walked on off to another spot.
-the world at large- modestmouse
i like that, today im feeling a little less insane....
-dshelbyw
so today i booked my flights to seattle. i am so super pumped about going. i think i am so excited because this is the adventure i have been craving all summer. going and doing things that i havent done and seeing places i havent seen before....im a little bit excited.
i talked to eric this morning, he was at 9,000 feet. he said that he and another rider were the first ones to the top and the view gave him chills. for the first time all summer i can say i was truely jealous of him. to hear the way he talked about the scenery and how it was so evidently made by the hands of our creator....yea way jealous.
but, i know that i am in ruston this summer for a reason. and i am enjoying it. i feel like the work that kyle and i are doing around the house is service for our roomates so that when they return they will be able to jump back into life in ruston. yesterday we powerwashed the house and cleaned out the garage. what will we work on next?
i am excited about the next few weeks, full of birthdays, flights, adventures, tests, sunsets and beaches, and friends coming home.
i was listening to this song this morning so i'll leave a bit of it.....
I like songs about drifters - books about the same.
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.
Walked on off to another spot.
-the world at large- modestmouse
i like that, today im feeling a little less insane....
-dshelbyw
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
on a holiday...
ive decided i like the idea of calling a vacation a "holiday" instead, it feels very british....i like it
so this weekend we went on holiday to the lake. a good time was had by all lots of sun, swimming, fishing and hanging out with some fun people. well actually lots of fishing but no fish catching...stupid fish....
anywho, i got to spend a lot of time with kyle, paddling around the lake with him was good times...even though the damn fish werent biting...
i also got to spend alot of time with this girl i like. i am beginning to feel that comfortable feeling ive been missing. minus the mild freak out things are really good. slow, slow is key...
all in all it was a good holiday.
-dustinshelbywhitlock
so this weekend we went on holiday to the lake. a good time was had by all lots of sun, swimming, fishing and hanging out with some fun people. well actually lots of fishing but no fish catching...stupid fish....
anywho, i got to spend a lot of time with kyle, paddling around the lake with him was good times...even though the damn fish werent biting...
i also got to spend alot of time with this girl i like. i am beginning to feel that comfortable feeling ive been missing. minus the mild freak out things are really good. slow, slow is key...
all in all it was a good holiday.
-dustinshelbywhitlock
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
rendered helpless
the other day i realized soemthing amazing about myself, i realized that music is such a part of my life that i can barely live without it. you see, my ipod broke, or rather i broke it by carelessly dropping it to the floor completely shattering the screen. this series of events (meaning me dropping it and then the screen shattering) rendered me completely helpless.
so i began to think about how i feel when im broken. when the Father has brought me to a place where i am rendered helpless. those feelings of lostness and loneliness. ive been feeling these feelings lately, just feelings like ive gone missing. maybe its being in ruston this summer, or maybe its something else but then i began to realize that the Father always has a plan for me to be a better version of my same old self. that when im broken im at my most vulnerable and he has brought new circumstances into my life that i would not have been prepared for if i wasnt broken. He is doing something in me that i dont undrestand, but i look forward to.
i also guess i understand a little more about why He's given me these passions to play. even when i dont like the circumstances i need to do what the Father has gifted me to do.
enough of that, i smashed my old ipod up, hilarity ensued when i pulled on the battery and it shocked the hell out of me, of course giving the ipod the last laugh....damn technology...here are
the 
pictures.
so i began to think about how i feel when im broken. when the Father has brought me to a place where i am rendered helpless. those feelings of lostness and loneliness. ive been feeling these feelings lately, just feelings like ive gone missing. maybe its being in ruston this summer, or maybe its something else but then i began to realize that the Father always has a plan for me to be a better version of my same old self. that when im broken im at my most vulnerable and he has brought new circumstances into my life that i would not have been prepared for if i wasnt broken. He is doing something in me that i dont undrestand, but i look forward to.
i also guess i understand a little more about why He's given me these passions to play. even when i dont like the circumstances i need to do what the Father has gifted me to do.
enough of that, i smashed my old ipod up, hilarity ensued when i pulled on the battery and it shocked the hell out of me, of course giving the ipod the last laugh....damn technology...here are
the 
pictures.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
its been a while...
so yea i know its been a while...sorry, so anyway, im thinking about taking this blog thing public...who knows, we'll see....
so today i officially became unemployed, the hospital was closed, i have mixed emotions about it, i will certainly miss the patients...and some of the staff, not so much the waking up at the crack of dawn....
so i know what you are saying "but dustin, what will you do with all that free time?"...
sit around...thats about it, todd's out of school so i think he and i will get to be friends again...
i want to go to vegas...
i find myself so unsure of the future right now and all things considered, i really dont care... its a general attitude of malaise that has taken over for now...and i like it...
i feel the need to explain the name if my blog now, its title is "and like icarus i collide", i find it terribly fitting for my life in that much like icarus, when i give something my best attempt i generally fail miserably. you see icarus decided that he wanted to use his pair of wax wings to fly closer to the sun than any other person had and when he did the heat from the sun melted his wings and he fell into the depths....
i am icarus, when i try to fly and achieve something new on my own merit...my wings melt...
i need new wings to try this...
d.s.w.
so today i officially became unemployed, the hospital was closed, i have mixed emotions about it, i will certainly miss the patients...and some of the staff, not so much the waking up at the crack of dawn....
so i know what you are saying "but dustin, what will you do with all that free time?"...
sit around...thats about it, todd's out of school so i think he and i will get to be friends again...
i want to go to vegas...
i find myself so unsure of the future right now and all things considered, i really dont care... its a general attitude of malaise that has taken over for now...and i like it...
i feel the need to explain the name if my blog now, its title is "and like icarus i collide", i find it terribly fitting for my life in that much like icarus, when i give something my best attempt i generally fail miserably. you see icarus decided that he wanted to use his pair of wax wings to fly closer to the sun than any other person had and when he did the heat from the sun melted his wings and he fell into the depths....
i am icarus, when i try to fly and achieve something new on my own merit...my wings melt...
i need new wings to try this...
d.s.w.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
a good day....
today was a good day...
i got to go to church this morning and hear a good word, it was something i needed to hear...
afterwards i got to spend some quaility, all be it very frustrating, time with my dad...i needed that too...
then i got to play a little guitar which i havent sat and done in a while...
all of these things were good....
but then the day got even better...
-dustinshelby
i got to go to church this morning and hear a good word, it was something i needed to hear...
afterwards i got to spend some quaility, all be it very frustrating, time with my dad...i needed that too...
then i got to play a little guitar which i havent sat and done in a while...
all of these things were good....
but then the day got even better...
-dustinshelby
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
another day...
well, here goes nothing,
its been a while since i "blogged"...i hate that terminology...it make me think of boogers....
speaking of boogers, ive been sick all day, thus producing some large ones of the aformentioned...
its been weird lately around ruston, usually about this time i am packing up my life and heading for east texas, it feels good to be home, but strangely i do miss being out there...
ive realized i use an abundance of elipsis in my posts...dont you judge me.
school is crazy, i found out im going to graduate either a quarter early or a quarter late, the latter would end with two masters degrees, there's something prideful about that, im not so sure i want it, or maybe im just being lazy. it would definately broaden my horizons for proffessions in the future....we'll see how it all goes.
as of this friday i will be the only counselor at work...twice the workload for the same pay? what the heck is that about?
i need some type of cathartic release lately. maybe i need an adventure...
eric starts his bike trip today, he's already in rhode island, if youd like to read about his trip go to www.ericbikesamerica.com , you can find his blog there...and a ridiculous picture of him wearing a tuxedo bike jersey.
thats all for now...
-dustinshelby
its been a while since i "blogged"...i hate that terminology...it make me think of boogers....
speaking of boogers, ive been sick all day, thus producing some large ones of the aformentioned...
its been weird lately around ruston, usually about this time i am packing up my life and heading for east texas, it feels good to be home, but strangely i do miss being out there...
ive realized i use an abundance of elipsis in my posts...dont you judge me.
school is crazy, i found out im going to graduate either a quarter early or a quarter late, the latter would end with two masters degrees, there's something prideful about that, im not so sure i want it, or maybe im just being lazy. it would definately broaden my horizons for proffessions in the future....we'll see how it all goes.
as of this friday i will be the only counselor at work...twice the workload for the same pay? what the heck is that about?
i need some type of cathartic release lately. maybe i need an adventure...
eric starts his bike trip today, he's already in rhode island, if youd like to read about his trip go to www.ericbikesamerica.com , you can find his blog there...and a ridiculous picture of him wearing a tuxedo bike jersey.
thats all for now...
-dustinshelby
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
frustration abounds...
so, i got all of my new recording stuff in... and i dont have the right freaking cables...nevertheless (5 pt. word) i will not be deterred. soon, i will figure it out.
other than that its been a very lazy few days away from work. lot's of mario kart and such. its going to be a long summer without everyone here...
school starts in a week, i got purged again...one day i'll pay that darn tuition on time.
its become evident to me that not being gone this summer is going to require me to be very self disciplined to not become lazy and completely spiritually complacent. i need to be challenged.
thats all for now, perhaps more tomorrow...
other than that its been a very lazy few days away from work. lot's of mario kart and such. its going to be a long summer without everyone here...
school starts in a week, i got purged again...one day i'll pay that darn tuition on time.
its become evident to me that not being gone this summer is going to require me to be very self disciplined to not become lazy and completely spiritually complacent. i need to be challenged.
thats all for now, perhaps more tomorrow...
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
take two...
well, im not sure i have much to say.
it's been a relaxing few days not having to work, but i know going back on thursday and doing both therapy groups will be crazy. I do miss the clients though, and i frequently catch myself thinking about how they are doing. so, it turns out im not the cold hearted bastard i thought i was i guess. more and more i catch myself worrying about work when im not at work. disconnecting from that place is hard, especially when you put so much of yourself into helping someone else.
i got an update on a new possibility today. we'll see where it goes... i could stand to play a little music these days.
in other news, my recording stuff finally came in and i am missing a cable...sucky.... but, hopefully i can get it all situated soon.
"the burden that they bear is easy to disguise, but hard to recognize, through these afflicted eyes, i am just like them oblivious to pain, content to just pretend as long as i am entertained"
it's been a relaxing few days not having to work, but i know going back on thursday and doing both therapy groups will be crazy. I do miss the clients though, and i frequently catch myself thinking about how they are doing. so, it turns out im not the cold hearted bastard i thought i was i guess. more and more i catch myself worrying about work when im not at work. disconnecting from that place is hard, especially when you put so much of yourself into helping someone else.
i got an update on a new possibility today. we'll see where it goes... i could stand to play a little music these days.
in other news, my recording stuff finally came in and i am missing a cable...sucky.... but, hopefully i can get it all situated soon.
"the burden that they bear is easy to disguise, but hard to recognize, through these afflicted eyes, i am just like them oblivious to pain, content to just pretend as long as i am entertained"
Friday, May 16, 2008
First things first...
so, ive decided to blog...
this is a shocking new turn of events, but i decided it would be a good way to force myself to gather my thoughts and then put them down in some form.
but, as for right now, im exhausted so that will be all...
more to come soon.
-dustin
this is a shocking new turn of events, but i decided it would be a good way to force myself to gather my thoughts and then put them down in some form.
but, as for right now, im exhausted so that will be all...
more to come soon.
-dustin
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